Crossroads

This was originally a Facebook note, hence the reference to tagging.
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Rather off-the-cuff note tonight. Not like I have any particular axe to grind; maybe it's just some stuff looking to be said.

The graduation countdown reads 46:11:24:50.

That is 10:00AM, May 22, 2009.

I'm planning on moving into my first apartment/condo/whatever on June 20. Sally and I are going house-hunting during intersessionals. Annapolis-(fly)->Jacksonville-(drive)->Pensacola-(drive)-> Jacksonville-(fly)->Annapolis in five or six days. That's going to be a whirlwind trip for sure and certain.

I sense I am at a cusp, an edge of understanding; a crossroads. Maybe it's just a side effect of realizing that after nearly 24 years, I'm about to finally get pulled from the nest. Actually, I'm getting pulled as well as jumping out on my own. Don't get me wrong: it's exciting as anything I've ever done before. But excitement goes hand-in-hand with a certain degree of...apprehension? Nervousness? Whatever you want to call it. I've not lived more than a few hours from home at any point in my life. I vaguely envy my friends here and elsewhere who went to school hundreds or thousands of miles from home; they already know what it is to not be able to go home for a weekend trip, to not have that safety net ready to go. They've had time to adjust to the reality of living essentially on their own, and are more ready for life after finishing the long grind.

Perhaps I'm just maudlin because I always get analytical and self-critical when I realize I'm approaching a significant point in my life. Always a degree of "Why didn't I give that a try?" or "Why the heck did I do that?" Most prevalent is the "What did I miss out on? There wasn't enough time to try everything!"

Well, I know I'm going to take a few days to get in some quality time before I get stuck in the mire of packing and moving.

What I really want to do is take a trip out to Yellowstone again, or at least spend some time outdoors. Get away from the hustle and bustle and hectic rush of life. Fly into Cody, Wyoming, spend a week driving around the park, swing down to Grand Tetons, stay in campsites, motels, whatever. If I thought the car would take it, I'd go for another road trip like I did with 996. Well, I guess that'd be a little more expensive than flying out there, what with gas and car upkeep and all. So, flying it is.

Even if I can't swing that, I'd like to take some sort of trip. I don't want to sit at home and brood the whole damn time. There'll be enough of that the last two weeks I'm home.

So, bottom line: anyone want to take a trip out west with me? I'm thinking May 26ish-June 5ish. I really hate traveling by myself; I won't go by myself, because 75% of the fun in traveling is sharing the experience with someone else. If that doesn't work, I might take another look at asking Jorj and Becky if I might visit them in Germany, but I don't speak the language, and I'd have to bring someone with me: they have to work, and I don't really want to impose on them in any case.

If you're wondering why I tagged you, don't think you'd want to go for a trip like this in a million years, and think you're a completely random tag, I tagged you because I'm looking for inputs from all parts of the spectrum. If you think you could make it, awesome. Let me know, but please don't bail at the last second. That would be most uncool. Regardless, let me know what you think? Words of encouragement are always accepted, as are cookies (even if they are only e-versions).

Thoughts?

Recent Events

I promise I've not forgotten this thing (or you, dear readers); I've just been swamped over the last few weeks. Recent midterms, planning for the future, all that fun stuff. I just found out today that I'll be reporting to Pensacola on June 26, so I'll be spending the summer in the sunny Florida Panhandle. That won't be "official" until Thursday night when all us aviators pick our report dates, but I found out in advance so I can make plans for housing. At least I know Sally should be going at the same time; her wedding is at the end of May, but we're going to try and meet a few days before the report date to find an apartment after her honeymoon.

Graduation is May 22 this year, so I've got a good month of uncharged leave between those dates. In all probability I'll likely spend much of the time packing, but I do want to take a trip somewhere...maybe out to Wyoming again, since I'll be spending the next year or so in flat Florida; I won't be anywhere near mountains again unless I get P-3s and end up in Washington State or Hawaii, and that would be after Pensacola and a tour at the FRS in Jacksonville... What can I say? I love my mountains. Seriously though, spring break (post-Boston for the St. Patrick's Day Parade) will be spent starting to get things wrapped up and ready for moving out--I gotta figure out which portions of my library I can stand to be parted from and donate (probably to Bethesda Naval Hospital or some such), which means boxing up the last 20+ years of my life. That's going to prove an interesting exercise.

Anyway, this isn't going to be an overly long post--just letting you all know what's been going on lately! And to put up the spring schedule...it's going to be busy starting next weekend, running almost every weekend until the end of the semester:

February 28: Spring PRT (oh, it's going to be cold!)
March 5-8: Pipes & Drums trip to RMC (Kingston, Ontario)
March 14-16: Pipes & Drums trip to Boston (marching in the St. Patrick's Day Parade)
March 28-29: Protestant Choir trip to Busch Gardens/Newport News
April 3-5: Pipes & Drums trip to NYC (marching in the Tartan Day Parade)
April 10: Rolling Thunder washing of the Vietnam Wall and other Memorials
April 17: Pipes & Drums Spring Concert
April 25-26: Camping trip to Lake Anna (my first obligation-free weekend!)
May 22: Graduation
June 20ish: Move to Pensacola, find an apartment, get ready to leave childhood behind for good
June 26: Let the Real World commence!

Beyond June 26 the future is hazy, but one thing is for certain: it's not going to be boring. So long for now!

--Mr. NFO 2009

WWYD?

Yes everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. My apologies for that. It's my last semester of school, and who knew 15 credits would be this much work? Fifteen is the minimum here, and it's not like I'm taking any enormously hard classes compared to some of the others (EE, thermo, physics, etc.). I think I just managed to get two of the history profs who just love to assign ridiculous amounts of reading. Between that, the battalion staff position, and the band, it's busy busy busy. Or maybe it's because I'm a second-semester senior who just wants out. And here's me considering taking on IFS (Introductory Flight Screening...basically the prerequisite for heading down to flight school this summer) so I don't have to stick around after graduation. I went to lunch with the two people I'm planning on rooming with down in Pensacola, so we could try to hammer out what details we could until orders come down in February. We're looking to rent a small condo close to the base. Sally and I can cook, and Reeve has said he won't mind cleaning; I think we'll be well set up for the few weeks we're there. Apparently we'll only be in Pensacola for 15 weeks if we get the platform we want -- otherwise it's only 30 weeks or so (+/- depending on the flight schedule).

Well, that's it for the school update for this post. I wish I could say I had a witty or deep observation, but I'd be lying to you. Honestly, there's not a whole lot going on at the moment that's worth posting about: nothing deeply personal has happened since the incident in December when my heart was used as a scratching post for someone who chose to lead me on, willfully ignorant of the effect she was having on me. That was fun. Now she's started talking to me again, which is interesting in and of itself: she knows what she did, and got angry because she didn't think she'd done anything. If anything, it was both of us, but that's a separate discussion.

Now, I'm just kind of coasting: I'll be out of this area within six months or so, so part of me wants to just say "There's no point in trying to start something, since we both know it'll end bittersweet at best, bitter at worst." That's the part of me that knows I'm not a frivolous person, and don't start something lightly just for the sake of convenience. Then there's the part of me that's the hopeless romantic (and it's a rather sizeable portion, believe you me) that just wants to throw caution to the winds and damn the consequences.

Typical Cancer, that's me. Very home-bodied and romantic. Well, if you put any credit in that sort of thing.

Before I go, I'm just going to ask a question of you, my readers. But first, I'm going to toss something out there about myself: I know I want a family, and I know I could make a damn good husband and father (I also know I'd be the one scaring the hell out of a daughter's prospective boyfriend, but that's more of a humorous aside than anything else). Suburban housing might be all right while I'm in the service (not much choice otherwise), but at some point in life I'd like to live out in the country. Preferably somewhere with mountains. The Shenandoah Valley would be nice (since I do so love Virginia) but so would the Wyoming/Idaho/Montana area. Every time I go out to that area it just feels right. This is coming from someone who grew up in the ever-expanding sprawl of DC. Occasional visits to places like New York and Philly are nice, but I am not a city person.

I've been told that I'm one of the odd ones for knowing what I want out of life. Granted, it's the simple things, but I've never been a complicated person. What you see is what you get. I like to think it's a nice change of pace from the modern world, when everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too; they get caught up in the trappings of today's high-speed society and forget what should be most important: basic values like love (real love, not the junk that covers the popular yellow journalism rags you see at supermarket checkout lines), family, respect, and the worth of a hard day's work. To most, that's old-fashioned; to me, it's ideal.

So I'm going to ask you, my readers: what do you want out of life? Ask yourselves, ask your friends, ask a stranger sitting next to you on the bus. Don't worry if you don't know. You're all about the same age as me, and I already know I'm the anomaly when it comes to this. Far be it from me to tell you how to live your lives; that's yours and yours alone, especially in these, your prime years.

What Would You Do?

--Mr. NFO 2009

(comment if you like; I love hearing from you guys)

Beauty and the Beholder

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." A common enough phrase; one that implies that each person has their own standards, and also implies (albeit much more subtly) that some people who are considered unattractive can be found "beautiful" by the right person. But what is "beauty" but a set of arbitrary standards set by society? In the U.S. and most Western European nations, those standards are set by the media (movies, TV, music stars, advertisements, etc.) for everyone else to follow. So, the "beholder" and the "beauty" are still subjected to societal norms, which largely direct their own opinions (at least in the developed world).

So, beauty is not truly in the eye of the beholder, but in the eye of society. The beholder has to be able to see beyond what society tells them to see, else he or she is likely in for a very rude surprise--and it can be very difficult to learn how, depending on just how inundated a person is with examples of what society tells them they should seek. As for a "beauty," that person must be able to believe in themselves, because not everyone can measure up to society's standards, and without society's approval, life can be a whole lot more difficult. Self-confidence (and a certain degree of empathy for others) go a long way to proving my favorite aphorism: "beauty can be only skin deep." Mere societal beauty can get by with being as shallow as a rain puddle, but it's the depth that counts. Cheerful thought isn't it?
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That was the result of me philosophizing at the end of last semester instead of studying for my thermodynamics final. Maybe I was just a bit bitter at recent events...it's very possible (hence the "rude surprise"), but I find that's when I'm at my best for introspection. I really don't want to start out the new year that way, so this is me reminding myself of a fact I was sort of cognizant of before last month, but never really experienced for myself until then.

Until next time, friends!

--Mr. NFO 2009